More about me!

I asked Jesus into my heart for the first time when I was 13. It was at a Carmen concert. Even though I backslide after that it is one of the most important times in my life. I remember it like it was yesterday.


My favorite dog is a beagle.

I am a tightwad. I really don't enjoy spending money.

I really don't enjoy shopping. unless it is clearance. I will spend time in a clearance aisle,though! grocery shopping is probably the most fun for me.

Country music is my favorite, but not the recent country. I like the old country up to the early ninties.

I love to make lists. I joke that I make lists of my lists.

I still have a pair of purple argyle socks I got in the sixth grade for Christmas. I still wear them, too.

I don't like wearing jewerly or make-up very much.

I am a klutz. I broke my foot falling off a sidewalk. I didn't even fall down, I just snapped the bone in my foot. I also break a lot of things. That's why God gave me my own personal McGyver as my husband:)

My favorite job was a chiropractic assistant.

The best job I will ever have is being a Mom. I love every part of being a Mom.

I had a crush on Patrick Swayze as a kid, "Dirty Dancing " was my favorite movie.
My other crush was Stephen Scheffler, he was #55 on Purdue's basketball team, back in the day.

I played the trumpet in school.

My best friend growing up was German Baptist. Going to her church was an experience I will never forget.

I am terrified of bees, flies, bugs, anything that flies around my head. As a kid I got hornets or wasps(I don't know which) caught in my hair and they stung me repeatedly in the back of my head. My Dad had to squish them with his hands to kill them.

Fun Facts

Lisa,you have started a trend and I am joining the band wagon.
Here are a few tid bits about me.


1. My favorite comics are Baby Blues and Calvin & Hobbes.

2. I love the smell of clothes that are hung on the line. I also enjoy hanging them out on the line.

3. My least favorite part of housekeeping is dishes.

4. My first job was running the candy store located inside Sears at Castleton Square Mall. It was by the escalator and no longer exists.

5. Randy & I met in Lawn & Garden at Wal-mart ( we were both working there)

6. He proposed to me in front of our entire church.

7. I went to Purdue and then IUPUI for 1 1/2 years to be a social worker.

8. I love chapstick!!!!!

9. I don't do well with change. Doesn't matter what it is, even small stuff.

10. My favorite vacation spot is Skagway, Alaska. It is peaceful, quiet and so beautiful.

11.I am a homebody, I am very content to just be at home with my family.

12. I love board games and card games. My whole family growing up played cards every time we got together.

13. My first car was a 1978 Olds Cutlass Supreme. My Dad bought me a chevy S10 about a year later, He said it didn't have as much "get up and go" if you catch my drift;)

14. I LOVE chocolate. When it comes to chocolate I have no self control. I will eat it until I am sick.

15. I am a tidy pack rat. I keep everything, but it must be in a tote labeled and dated for quick reference. Both the boys have about 2 totes of stuff I have saved for them. I have every bill I have paid since Randy & I have been married.

16. Sleeping in hotels creep me out. I take my own pillow and blankets. You just never know how clean they are.

17. I love to camp as long as I can take a shower. This drives Randy absolutely NUTS! It limits our camping choices alot!

18. I like buying stationary and writing letters.

19. Reality TV is a guilty plesure of mine. Survivor, Super Nanny, Dog the Bounty Hunter, Airline, I love it!

20. I love to go barefoot- I really don't enjoy wearing shoes of any kind very much.

21.I love most foods with vinegar in them. Malted vinegar on fish, pickles, cucumbers and onions in vinegar, vinegar & salt chips. The best is pickled bologna. MMmmmm Good!

22. My LEAST favorite movie of all time is "Wizard of OZ". I was in high school before I could watch it all the way through. I would hide under my parents bed every year when my brother watched it. Those flying monkeys give me the creeps.

So there are a few tidbits, after reading them I thought " Boy I am kind of neurotic and yet very boring at the same time."

A Survivor Question

If you went on the show Survivor, what is the one thing you would take with you?








My Answer: Chapstick!!!!!!!!!

Our "Pet" Squirrel

We have a squirrel that has adopted us. He lives in the trees close to our house and we can watch him foraging for nuts and scampering up to his home safe in the treetops.
He was part of our menagerie of animals until a few weeks ago. Now he is on the most wanted list.
It was a rainy day a few weeks ago and the boys were doing their schoolwork. All of a sudden we heard a knock-knock sound on the side of the house. We all ran out and saw our little "pet". We thought "how cute he is banging his food against the side of the house to eat it."
We heard the same knock-knock a few days later in the same spot. Elijah was watching him out of the front door and spooked him. So little "pet" ran around to the side of the house. I heard him a few minutes later by a different window so I pulled the screen out and poked my head out of the window to see him in action. Oh, boy did I ever see him in action. He wasn't trying to crack his winter supply of nuts open to eat. He was eating the side of my house. There were little nibble marks all down the side of the house. He wasn't the cute squirrel anymore, he was dead meat. I told Randy about it and he got his gun out and the next time we heard him He fired a warning shot to scare him. After all he was sort of a pet. We didn't want to kill him, yet.
We thought the gun scared him off and our house was saved. No, this is one determined squirrel. He was back at it again bright and early this morning. I let Zoe out and she chased him down, Mr.Squirrel got a sudden burst of energy at the last second and avoided death by Zoe. So he is down to no more chances. Mr. Squirrel is dead the next time I catch him making the siding on my house his main course!

Happy Birthday Elijah Aaron!

Today my sweet baby is 10. He was born on Easter sunday 10 years ago, seems like yesterday. I am so proud of him and the young man he is growing up to be. He is such a compassionate, tender-hearted kid. (except when it comes to his brother, they seem to enjoy beating each other up daily.)
A little tid bit about Elijah on his birthday:
He has planned on rescuing endangered animals since he was about 4. He wants to be a vet and travel around the world,to heal sick and injured animals. He and Ethan want to build zoos for the animals and put a church in it so they can tell the people about God and animals at the same time. Every year they get older the plan gets more elaborate.
He is a great kid and I am so proud to be his Mom.

Happy Birthday Elijah!

The Black heart~ an explanation

This will in a small way explain the previous post of "The Black Heart"

A few months ago while I was sitting in worship at church I saw a heart beating and functioning in a body, then I saw sin enter as hurt, fear, rejection, and as each thing happened the heart was damaged. As it was damaged it began to die and was no longer useful to the body.
I sometimes see things as words and as I saw this picture, God gave me phrases and words to describe what I was seeing. I just put it on the desk and left it for awhile.
today I was thinkiing of it and wanted to piece it together, so it is a combination of my testimony and something God spoke to me months ago. Maybe He was just showing me what had become of my heart, i don't know. I hope this makes sense and for me it was a big wake-up of how a small thing can do damage to my heart and if not fixed it will grow and grow until eventually it will kill me.

The Black Heart

The anger raged and swelled inside my chest. Trying to control the tumult, fear frustration and every other negative emotion was taking its toll. I was no longer able to contain the intensity of emotions that rose within my mind, body and soul. My black heart was taking control.
It didn’t have to be this way. In fact it wasn’t always this way. My heart was once clean and fresh, new as the day my Maker formed me.
The first nasty bruise on my heart came as early as grade school, mostly out of my own inhibitions, the constraints I put on my own life. That dark bruise came at the first pangs of rejection and it was never given the love and compassion to heal before the barrage of angry red tears and rips began to appear. The bruising increased with intensity as the self-inflicted, self-loathing, hate and self pity increased with alarming regularity. Infection caused irreparable harm as the fear and pain festered in the heart. The rejection by my peers, not feeling like my thoughts, my life mattered to this angry world. All those angry, vicious emotions were given safe harbor in my tortured heart. I repeated daily the insults that were slung at me at school. They rolled around and around inside of my head torturing my dreams.
All those words, actions and thoughts against the heart turned it into a darkened, dead organ, dark and brittle as charcoal. It was dead, no longer a viable use to the body. Rejected by body, spirit, and soul, but fearing the void would not be filled I clung to it like a life-line, unable to give it up. Every scar, cut, bruise, every ounce of pain represented my past, my life, who I was to this point. To give up my blackened heart was to give up myself. I would disappear and not matter, my life would be for nothing. My last link to a so-called life, what I called living.
I did not know how close my rescue was. I was not aware that with one cry to the Father, the one who formed me with His loving hands, He was the one to replace my fragile, bitter, battered and bruised heart. He, with all surgical precision, practice and skill could transform my hate, rage and pain into pure perfection. With no mistakes, no faults, I could have a pure, beating heart with life breathed straight from the mouth of the Creator. Who could describe the sweetness of that moment, the fresh, pure beating of a new heart? Restored to pump life in a pure untainted sense, my black, brittle heart was reborn and renewed with one cry, one pleading, sobbing cry. I was reborn, new and fresh, loved with an intensity I had never known.
Now it was my job to protect my heart at the first signs of bruising or pain. I need to run to my Father and have Him cleanse me again and again. I don’t want to return to harboring a dead and scarred useless heart. I never again want to grow accustomed to harboring the rage that always lurked beneath the surface. I never again want to forget the sweetness and purity of my new heart.

Lesson 3 ~ My boys are growing up!

My boys are growing up. I still think of them as my little boys and having a 1 year old and three year old in the house made me realize how grown-up my boys are becoming.
I am not saying I am going to make them get a job and pay their own way now, but I needed a wake-up call that they need more responsibility and some room to grow. I take my job as a parent seriously (sometimes too much) and I can be downright mean if anyone messes with my kids. That's just the way I am. God is helping me to realize they are growing up and I will have to let go. They are becoming young men and they need to make some mistakes and deal with the consequences. Ethan is my onery one. I am going to have to crack down on that boy because all he has to do is give me his impish little grin and get me to laughing and he knows his punishment will be forgotten.
For the last ten years I have poured all of my energy into being a Mom. I realized that I need to start letting them go and have adventures and experiences on their own. They need a little more freedom to figure out who they want to be and not just be who I think they should be. I want to prepare them for the world and I want them to always know that they have a place to come and their parents will always support them and love them, but at the same time I don't want to make it too comfortable and have them both living here when they are 30.

Jesus in the Bathtub ?!?!

This is one of the experiences I had with our oldest foster child who was 3 years old.

Randy and I have made a habit of reading to Elijah and Ethan and praying for them and over them every night as we tuck them into bed. We have done this since Elijah was a baby.
When we got our "new" boys we knew this would be a great opportunity to tell them about Jesus and just pray blessings over their lives.
Neither one of the boys wanted to be put to bed, they were scared and confused, so Randy put a cd player in their room and put in a worship cd. After about the 3rd night the didn't even fuss at going to bed. The oldest wanted his songs on and he went to bed fine.
I would pray with them both and read a Bible story to them every night. It became our bedtime ritual and it helped calm them and they were no longer fearful of being alone or going to sleep.
The last night we had them the oldest asked me if Jesus was going to sleep on his floor again. It kind of gave me goosebumps because when a child talks about spiritual things I listen. I think they are more in tune to the spritual than adults and I tend to believe what they tell me. So I thought " How cool is that! Jesus sleeping in my house!"
So anyway I'm sure you are curious about Jesus in the bathtub!
The last day we had them I was in the bathroom with the oldest ( we were potty training so I spent a lot of time in the bathroom, cheering or sometimes bribing him to" please go potty!")
He was sitting on his little potty seat and looked at the bathtub. We had the kids dinosaurs lined up around the edge of the bathtub. He pointed and said "hey, there's the man over there with the dinosaurs." I looked and thought maybe there was some toy he was looking at. There wasn't. So I asked him about the man. My first thought was there was a demon in my bathtub and I just didn't want to have to deal with that. So I asked him "Is it a good man or bad man?"
He really didn't give me an answer. So I said" If you want the man to go away, just say 'In Jesus name get out of here'".
So he says " Jesus you get out of here!"
"No, No, we want Jesus to stay, if it is a bad man tell him to go." I say.
So he looks at me with his cute little smile and keeps looking at the bathtub and he finally repeats " Jesus name get out of here."
So I am not really sure what it was, but if Jesus was sleeping on the floor with him I believe he was in the bathtub looking over Him. Maybe He was cheering on the potty accomplishments, too!

Lesson Two~ A good mind set is esstential

I realized the mind set I had going into the whole foster system would probably make me or break me. The sytem has problems, if I focused on the problems I was always going to be in constant turmoil. I decided that God Is in control. I say that, but there are times when I just didn't believe it. Randy and I have been through court cases and when the judge would make a decision that "seemed" as though it was against us I would instantly think God hated us- He must or this decision would have been different.
After going through the trials over our farm, I really know that God does work all things for good and when it seems the most desparate and hopeless, He shines like the brightest star and gives new hope and a new way out!
I never would have thought that all those court dates and being miserable for a time, building this house would prepare us so perfectly for fostering.
When we got our "new" boys, I knew we would only have them a short time (I just didn't know it was going to be 3 weeks short).
My plan was to send them home better than they came. So we just jumped in as a family and started tackling things one day at a time. It amazes me how much we accomplished in 3 short weeks. God is so good!
When we got the call for them to go back to their family I will admit I was mad and I knew this wasn't the best. I had so many other things I wanted to teach them and have them accomplish.
This is where going through things and not getting the answer I wanted helped so much. After my initial mad wore off I thought about it. God is in control and He does know what is best, so I am going to make this positive. I am now going to trust Him to care for these 2 boys and know I did the best I could in the time God gave me to care for them.
I walked away in peace instead of fear and worry.
God helped us to go into the situation with our minds set on Him and what He wanted us to do.

Lesson One~ Sleep is Essential

I can cook dinner while feeding a baby, discipline a 3 year old, administer a spelling test all while loading the dishwasher and correcting a math test, but ask me to do that on 2 hours of sleep and you get a crazy woman who cries all day and can't form a coherent sentence.
I learned that I can live without a shower for a day, chocolate, eating, having a moment of complete silence, but I CAN NOT function without sleep.
So I guess next time I will try to not be super woman. I was trying to keep my house as clean as I did before we added more kids and keep the boys on their same school schedule. That was insanity and I should have just taken a nap every once and awhile. Shouldn't have taken a rocket scientist to figure that one out!

Up-Date

Just wanted to give everyone a quick up-date on yesterday. We had an informational meeting with the family and their caseworker when we gave them the boys.
God was in that room. I felt His presence and peace. Everything went so well and I want to believe that this family WILL make it.
The most awesome thing is when the family thanks you for what you have done for their kids. They thanked us so many times for the work we had done with them and the accomplishments the boys had achieved. The Dad even shook our hands and said we can see the boys anytime we want. I just don't know how often that happens.
Randy told them how much the oldest loved church and the parents said he was afraid of a lot of people and wasn't used to be around anyone, but their family. We kind of laughed and told them how friendly he was and was introducing himself to everyone and wanted to always sit with"the Girls". He is already a ladies man!
Randy and I walked away sad, but hopeful and filled with peace. Originally I couldn't believe it and thought it was a horrible idea that they were going with Grandma. Now I am filled with peace and am comforted after our meeting that these boys are loved and will be taken care of.
Not to sayI don't miss them. All night I was praying " Oh, I hope they go to bed well and don't cry all night."
More to come on our Lessons Learned~

3 short or long weeks

Our first try at fostering will come to an end this afternoon.
We are sad. It didn't take long for us to let these kids into our hearts.
Elijah was an awesome big brother, almost too much. After one week the baby was so spoiled he didn't want to walk anymore. Ethan shows his emotions differently and he did have a hard time adjusting to sharing me with 2 boys who required more of my attention. Both of my boys asked me " So when are we getting more kids? Are we going to adopt the next ones?"
Randy and I have some decisions to make before the next phone call to foster comes and we want to do what God wants and not what our flesh wants.
So I will write more about our first experience and how it has changed us and what we have learned, but for now I need to get prepared for this afternoon when I have to give back 2 boys I would claim as my own and keep forever(if I could).
Any prayers would be appreciated so much. Thanks to all of you who also got attatched to these precious boys and I hope you will continue to pray for them that God will always have His Hand on them and in the end their whole family will be saved. Isn't that what God really wants? Healthy families who serve and love Him. This is my prayer for this family.

Sleep- It is a beautiful thing!

I just wanted to give an up-date to you all.
I am in a better frame of mind. Thank-you for all the prayers and pep-talks and love. We couldn't have made it through without it.
We survived the funeral. it wasn't as bad as I thought, You might still pray for my Dad if you think of it. He holds all his emotions in so you never really know how he is.

As far as fostering goes- we are finally getting some sleep-so I feel a little more coherent now.
I love to get a good nights rest almost as much as I love chocolate so for the last week I was really a mess. randy was able to stay home 3 days for the funeral. He is such an amazing husband, I hated to see him go back to work today.
God is good though. I am not giving up. We will work through this and I know we will get settled sooner or later.

I need prayer.

I just wanted to ask any of you that read this to pray for me and my family. I found out yesterday that my Dad's Mom died late Saturday night. My Dad's family has had a lot of family issues and it has only gotten worse over the years. I hadn't seen my Mamaw since last Christmas. My dad has been hurt by his family and I am worried about him. The funeral is Wednesday and if it wasn't for my dad I wouldn't even go.
Randy just called me this morning and one of his friends from work went home sick on friday, Randy went to work this morning and found out he had died over the weekend. Randy said " I really was talking to him about God and I thought he was recieving it. I hope it was enough." Randy is pretty upset.
I don't think this would get to me so much, but I am going on practically no sleep. i don't know if I am cut out for fostering. It is funny we have talked about this since before we were marrried. we even built a stinking house for it and now I don't think I can do it. It is all so overwhelming. i worry about my boys and what impact it will have on them. It just don't know if i can handle all of it.
I know God is a big God and He will show me the right way. I just thought it was the way all along and now I feel like on the outside I am strong and meeting everyone's needs and on the inside i am falling apart and don't know how to fix it.
If you think of us just pray- This is going to be a rough week without God's help.

Soccer time!

It is that time of year again.
We are busy, busy with soccer, but it is something we enjoy as a family.
Randy is going to coach both of the boys teams again this year.
It will also be mohawk time again, soon.
I think some of the other players are intimidated by the boys mohawks. They see this crazy boy with wild hair charging down the field at them and they move out of the way. I think it is our secret weapon!

Zoe-update

Traci- Thanks for the advice on tomato paste. i had heard of it, but never knew of anyone who used it and knew for sure it worked.
Unfortunately we had no tomato juice or paste.
So Elijah helped me scrub her with my lavender body wash.
I think it toned the smell down a little. You didn't gag when she walked near you last night.
So that is the latest on the adventureous life of Miss Zoe- Oh- No-E.

Our Zoe

This is Zoe last spring.

This is Zoe when we got her last Christmas.

She is a spoiled farm dog. She gets to run around and dig things up and be a mischievious dog during the day and at night she must endure getting cleaned up from her day of fun and gets loved on and spoiled and then sleeps on her blankie next to our bed. She is spoiled. Last night I brought her in and started to clean her up. Randy asked what that horrible smell was. It was Zoe. She had gotten into a skunk and she smelled so bad it almost burnt your nose. I guess my sense of smell was so bad from standing next to her for so long that I couldn't smell it at first. I don't think she got sprayed directly or I'm sure it would have been unbearable. She wasn't the princess of the house last night for sure. I think it was actually wearing off today- so I know it wasn't as bad as it could have been. I kept telling myself it could have been worse and I'm thankful it took her this long to discover the wonderful aroma of skunk!

The Children's Museum- NOT!

The boys and I made plans to go on a field trip today. We thought we would go to the Children's Museum and invited my Mom.
We get everything planned and I checked on-line this morning to see what road I exit from I-70.
Guess what? The Children's Museum is closed on Mondays in the winter. Ah, That stinks! So I call my Mom. She suggested the Children's Museum in Muncie- Great idea! Not! They, too, are closed on Monday. Wilbur Wright Museum- no go.
So I asked the boys "What do you want to do?"
"Play a board game, go out to eat and see a movie."
O.k. we can handle that.
I check movie times and we decided on Hoodwinked. We are all set, good to go.
I double check movie times and It has changed- they had left the Saturday times up and the next showing wasn't until 5:30. Ok, by now I am just a little bit irritated, mostly with myself, but irritated no less.
So I check movies 8 and they have Chicken Little playing- everyone is o.k. with that so we head out.
The movie only cost us $.50 a person and we all loved it.
The boys both had fun and my Mom and I just enjoyed getting to spend the day together.
Our day didn't turn out as we planned, but we i think the end result was the same. we got to spend time together and enjoy each others company.
So next time we plan something it will NOT be on Monday- Maybe the weekend was just too rough and no one could cope come Monday morning!
( BTW- the picture is of us at the St. Louis Arch. That is if anyone noticed and was wondering where that was at the Children's Museum!)

Today I had a visitor.
I NEVER have visitors.
A car pulled up and the dog started barking. I kept looking because The woman looked familiar, but I just couldn't place her.
And then it dawned on me. Erika! randy's younger sister.
This was a miracle. We hadn't seen her in over 3 years, we had no idea even where she was living.
She had messed her life up and completely rid herself of the family.
She told me she woke up today and wanted to show me her kids. She has 3 beautiful kids, we had never seen the youngest 2.
She said she was just compelled to see her family so she visited with me and then went to see her Grandma.
She said she would come back later when she can visit longer and so Randy can see the kids.
I was excited, but reserved because she has played on my sympathies before. i will just have to leave it to God.
And then I realized: It was Erika that I put on the little white card at church!