I need prayer.

I just wanted to ask any of you that read this to pray for me and my family. I found out yesterday that my Dad's Mom died late Saturday night. My Dad's family has had a lot of family issues and it has only gotten worse over the years. I hadn't seen my Mamaw since last Christmas. My dad has been hurt by his family and I am worried about him. The funeral is Wednesday and if it wasn't for my dad I wouldn't even go.
Randy just called me this morning and one of his friends from work went home sick on friday, Randy went to work this morning and found out he had died over the weekend. Randy said " I really was talking to him about God and I thought he was recieving it. I hope it was enough." Randy is pretty upset.
I don't think this would get to me so much, but I am going on practically no sleep. i don't know if I am cut out for fostering. It is funny we have talked about this since before we were marrried. we even built a stinking house for it and now I don't think I can do it. It is all so overwhelming. i worry about my boys and what impact it will have on them. It just don't know if i can handle all of it.
I know God is a big God and He will show me the right way. I just thought it was the way all along and now I feel like on the outside I am strong and meeting everyone's needs and on the inside i am falling apart and don't know how to fix it.
If you think of us just pray- This is going to be a rough week without God's help.

Soccer time!

It is that time of year again.
We are busy, busy with soccer, but it is something we enjoy as a family.
Randy is going to coach both of the boys teams again this year.
It will also be mohawk time again, soon.
I think some of the other players are intimidated by the boys mohawks. They see this crazy boy with wild hair charging down the field at them and they move out of the way. I think it is our secret weapon!

Zoe-update

Traci- Thanks for the advice on tomato paste. i had heard of it, but never knew of anyone who used it and knew for sure it worked.
Unfortunately we had no tomato juice or paste.
So Elijah helped me scrub her with my lavender body wash.
I think it toned the smell down a little. You didn't gag when she walked near you last night.
So that is the latest on the adventureous life of Miss Zoe- Oh- No-E.

Our Zoe

This is Zoe last spring.

This is Zoe when we got her last Christmas.

She is a spoiled farm dog. She gets to run around and dig things up and be a mischievious dog during the day and at night she must endure getting cleaned up from her day of fun and gets loved on and spoiled and then sleeps on her blankie next to our bed. She is spoiled. Last night I brought her in and started to clean her up. Randy asked what that horrible smell was. It was Zoe. She had gotten into a skunk and she smelled so bad it almost burnt your nose. I guess my sense of smell was so bad from standing next to her for so long that I couldn't smell it at first. I don't think she got sprayed directly or I'm sure it would have been unbearable. She wasn't the princess of the house last night for sure. I think it was actually wearing off today- so I know it wasn't as bad as it could have been. I kept telling myself it could have been worse and I'm thankful it took her this long to discover the wonderful aroma of skunk!

The Children's Museum- NOT!

The boys and I made plans to go on a field trip today. We thought we would go to the Children's Museum and invited my Mom.
We get everything planned and I checked on-line this morning to see what road I exit from I-70.
Guess what? The Children's Museum is closed on Mondays in the winter. Ah, That stinks! So I call my Mom. She suggested the Children's Museum in Muncie- Great idea! Not! They, too, are closed on Monday. Wilbur Wright Museum- no go.
So I asked the boys "What do you want to do?"
"Play a board game, go out to eat and see a movie."
O.k. we can handle that.
I check movie times and we decided on Hoodwinked. We are all set, good to go.
I double check movie times and It has changed- they had left the Saturday times up and the next showing wasn't until 5:30. Ok, by now I am just a little bit irritated, mostly with myself, but irritated no less.
So I check movies 8 and they have Chicken Little playing- everyone is o.k. with that so we head out.
The movie only cost us $.50 a person and we all loved it.
The boys both had fun and my Mom and I just enjoyed getting to spend the day together.
Our day didn't turn out as we planned, but we i think the end result was the same. we got to spend time together and enjoy each others company.
So next time we plan something it will NOT be on Monday- Maybe the weekend was just too rough and no one could cope come Monday morning!
( BTW- the picture is of us at the St. Louis Arch. That is if anyone noticed and was wondering where that was at the Children's Museum!)

Today I had a visitor.
I NEVER have visitors.
A car pulled up and the dog started barking. I kept looking because The woman looked familiar, but I just couldn't place her.
And then it dawned on me. Erika! randy's younger sister.
This was a miracle. We hadn't seen her in over 3 years, we had no idea even where she was living.
She had messed her life up and completely rid herself of the family.
She told me she woke up today and wanted to show me her kids. She has 3 beautiful kids, we had never seen the youngest 2.
She said she was just compelled to see her family so she visited with me and then went to see her Grandma.
She said she would come back later when she can visit longer and so Randy can see the kids.
I was excited, but reserved because she has played on my sympathies before. i will just have to leave it to God.
And then I realized: It was Erika that I put on the little white card at church!

My Boys

I am really proud of my boys. I have my days when I want to wring their necks, but for the most part they are pretty good kids. Lately I have been second guessing my parenting skills. Randy says if I don't have something to worry about, I will worry about not worrying- so I guess this was my worry of the week. I just want them to grow to be Godly young men and be able to make a difference in this world. Sunday I was blessed and was told what great kids they were by a few people. They won't know how I appreciated that. Eli & Ethan received $1 a piece for saying a Bible verse correctly after Sunday night service. After we got home Ethan came up to me and handed me his dollar, I looked at him and asked him what it was for. He said" you are a great cooker and make me awesome food and I want you to have my dollar". That melted my heart. Then Elijah came in the room and said "I want to buy Dad a tool with my dollar. He works really hard for us to have stuff." I just wanted to cry.
I know that they are onery, little punks sometimes, but for the most part they are awesome boys with hearts of gold!

Do you ever need a reminder?

Today is a reminder day.
I needed to look back at where we came from to remember where we are going.This has been a long road, a road that seems never ending.
We started our house on 9-1-01 with $900 in our pockets. I don't think one aspect turned out the way we planned.
We are still trusting because, once again we are in a position of needing more money to finish.
I hope though that this can be a source of encouragement for someone because God always met our needs, He always gave us what we needed, when we needed. looking at these pictures I remember the emotions I had. I probably had a hateful, depressed look on my face for about 2 years straight!Looking everyday at the big muddy hole that was supposed to be my house. There were days I just couldn't believe it would ever happen. Our house was in the" muddy hole" stage for over a year. A few people asked if we were just going to make a big fishing pond. I can laugh about it now, but then I probably wanted to punch them. It took us about 6 months to get from the concrete slab stage to framing it in. Talk about a faith tester!" Will we ever get this done?" came out of my mouth more than once. We got so much rain after it was framed in we actually took a shop vac to suck the water off the second floor. I poured gallon after gallon of water over the side of the house praying God would protect the floor and it wouldn't be ruined.
Every time I felt like giving up something miraculous happened and God made it o.k. Sometimes all it took was God giving me the strength to keep at it for just one more day. Today is the 2 year anniversary of when we moved in. The difference in our house in 2 years is amazing. We had no flooring other than the concrete slab, no kitchen cabinets ( I washed the dishes in the bathroom sink) The upstairs had drywall up and that was it. Everyday and every night we worked on this house. Finally we are beginning to see the finish line(as far as the building of the house is concerned)
So all this is a reminder of where we were and were we are going. Last week I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders, this week is starting out the same. We are still waiting for money to finish the upstairs, but in the meantime we will go ahead and have our homestudy on Thursday. We have room for 2 kids downstairs. I guess that will do for now. Then I had a new thing to worry about. We don't have a car big enough for more than 2 more kids anyway. Maybe it's not that I should worry, but rest in the fact that God provides everything when and exactly how it is needed!
We have gotten more done to the house since these pictures where taken (yes, we do have a kitchen sink!) My Dad always tells me "Rome wasn't built in a day!" So when I get discouraged and feel I am not getting any closer to where God wants me I try to remember what things were like just a few years ago. The adventure was never easy, but God always kept us on the right path, He protected us, encouraged us and I think we are better people for traveling through it.

Tootsie Rolls in the Dryer

Why would tootsie rolls be in my dryer? Good question with a simple answer. I have 2 boys. Enough said.
I was folding clothes yesterday and kept smelling chocolate. I looked and stuck inside my dryer was pieces of melted tootsie roll.
I have found the most amazing and odd things in my washer and dryer. Randy asked why I don't check pockets better. Bad question to ask while I am trying to scrub tootsie roll out of my dryer.

2005 in Review

I decided to look back at 2005 and make a list of all the things that were accomplished that brought Randy and I closer to our goal.
Our goal being buy the farm, build a house big enough we can adopt a lot of kids, develop friendships that are not superficial and be a support and source of encouragement to our friends to follow their dreams. I know God has more than that, but that is all I know of for sure from Him for now
So by looking at 2005 in those terms it was a fantastic success!
*We were able to get to know a few people better. We listened to their dreams and were so encouraged to hear what other people wanted to do for God. And we have had soooo much fun having people over and just spending time with wonderful people.
**We saw God restore a marriage and use that couple to minister to others with broken hearts and marriages. AWESOME!
***Randy coached the boys soccer teams and we met so many wonderful people. Randy had a blast doing it, also! ( That really isn't part of our long term goals. Just wanted to brag again about my hubby and what a great father he is!)
****Randy and I have almost completed all of our classes and paperwork to be foster parents and to adopt. This is a huge one!
*****After MANY trials, we were finally able to buy the remainder of the farm. That was such a huge relief. I can't say enough how much stress that relieved out of my life.
******We were able to help another family out. Spiritually, financially and keep them from being homeless. I get excited when thinking about this one because isn't this what it is all about. We have something, someone else needs it and so we give it up for them. To think God used us in this way is a tremendous thing.
This was just a quick recap of 2005. I keep all of my calendars so I can go back and see what we did and where we were at differents times in our life. Looking back through this calendar excited me and I am looking forward to another successful year in God.
It is easy to forget the bad things when you see how many good things happened.
I managed to stay out of the hospital this year too. Now that is something to shout about!
Here is to an Awesome 2006. God's gonna do even more this year, cause my faith is getting so much bigger. I am expecting bigger and better things.

New Zoo Revue

Does anyone remember The New Zoo Revue?
Henrietta Hippo, Freddy Frog, Charlie the owl.
I loved this show when I was a kid!

My Husband

I need to brag on my hubby tonight.
He is off working a long night for his family. We needed some extra money so he volunteered for overtime at a job he really doesn't like. Usually when we are short on money it is because I spent too much on the kids or Randy bought too many toys at Best Buy or we just weren't frugal enough. This time it is different.
We made a commitment to help someone out financially. We made the commitment when we had the extra money. Now it is hurting the pocketbook a little and so Randy is being true to his word and going the extra mile to provide for his family and help someone else out. I love him for that.
He provides so I can stay at home and home-school our boys and be a full-time Mom. I love staying at home and he sacrifices so I can do that. If I worked, he could get a job he enjoyed.
He will not do that. He would rather work a job that he is unhappy at so he can provide enough for me to stay home. I love him for that.
I am proud to be his wife.
He works so hard. When I would want to give up when we worked on the house, he kept going.
He never gave up working on our house. When he was tired or discouraged, he just kept going.
He did not want to let his family down. He built us a beautiful, warm house that we can enjoy.
I am one lucky lady.

My perception = My Deception

The sideways glance, the laughter, the well-dressed person, the apparent snub, all of these things can be perceived a certain way.
I learned a valuable lessen about perception.
I have always been paranoid. I assume the worst. Someone is not talking to me because they are mad. I hurt their feelings. If they are mad at me then I am not going to talk to them. All of these dialogues have went through my head multiple times before.
I make an assumption and then take it as fact.
God changed all of that.
I started a friendship with someone I thought had a lot of friends and didn't need one more. Someone I thought was confident and their life was close to perfect.
I found out that that they appeared to have friends, but everyone kept it on a superficial level. Everyone else thought they had plenty of friends, too and that left this person out in the cold.
Never assume anything.
How often did I use to assume something, take it for a fact, then act accordingly.
Now I try to spend time with someone. Ask them about their life. Find out their hopes and dreams. It has suprised me how spending quality time with people has changed me so much.
And if I think someone is upset with me, I just simply ask "Did I do something to hurt you?"
It has surprised me to get the answer to that question, too. Sometimes it had nothing to do with me at all. I was the one snubbing them because, yet again, I assumed something.
It is amazing how not assuming anything and having a dialogue with people has changed my heart.
I have new friends I would never had before.

Back to Work

The holiday season is officially over for the Kemerly's.
Randy is back to work today and we will try to get back to schoolwork for the kids.
I miss Randy when he is not home. I get spoiled having him here all day. The more time we spend together, the more time we want to spend together.
For me one of the only good things about the holidays is Randy being home all day for a week or so.
The holidays wear me out. I think it is mostly because of the traveling. We go North, South, East and west to visit family.
Usually I love Christmas. I listen to Christmas carols all year round. I love decorating the house and making cookies with the boys. I don't know what my problem was this year. I was a big BAH HUMBUG!
It never even felt like Christmas and I was so glad to put away the decorations.
Maybe that is what turning 30 does to me. Turns me into more of a grouch than usual.
But it is a new year and I am in need af a new attitude, so it is perfect timing.
I will have to look back through my calendar to make a post about 2005. I can't remember what happened or what I did all year.
I have lost my memory- something else I can blame on my milestone birthday!

Weird-O

I have concluded I am just plain weird.
I just found Christmas lists from every year that Randy and I have been married.
10 years of every item I have bought anyone for Christmas, how much I spent every year and who I received Christmas cards from and who I sent them out to.
The thing is I thought that is was weird that I kept it and then I thought"well you never know if I might need that" so I put it back in the file folder and put in the christmas card box.

Vacation

We are home again from beautiful Gatlinburg,TN.
I am so thankful we were able to go away for awhile. We needed it more than I think we realized.
I am thankful for my awesome family. My parents decided last year to make memories with us instead of buying Christmas gifts.
So this was our second annual Rainey-Kemerly-Goodman-Fletcher getaway.
My parents rent a cabin for a week and my family, my brothers family, my Mamaw and my Aunt&Uncle go for the week.
The most amazing thing is we all get along and really enjoy each others company.
That is probably a miracle in itself!
The 4 grandkids have a blast. They get to sleep in a room by themselves. They played Indians in the woods, went on hikes and the best was Ober Gatlinburg.
My brother,sister-in-law, Randy & I took the kids up in the tram and then on the ski lift to the Alpine Slides. we had so much fun racing each other down. we would pick different people to race and see who could win. We all acted like big kids. It was AWESOME!
I am scared of heights so Randy thought I should ride the ski lift with Elijah since he was older. Big mistake. This kid is fearless. He was swinging around, getting it to bounce and wanting to jump out of it. I had to close my eyes most of the time. I love roller coasters, but going slowly up the side of the mountain in a tiny metal seat, where you are very aware of how high you are off the ground, not fun!
Ethan and Lauren are the youngest and they kept saying they wanted to ride the "Charlie". It took us forever to realize it was the trolley. So much for adults enunciating when they talk.
I also realized that I talk like my family. Do you know what "Yunt to" means?
Stay tuned to the next installment of Vacation to find out.........
Same Bat time, same Bat channel:)

Good News! Good News!

To most people this would not seem like something to be excited about, but I am ecstatic!
We can FINALLY buy the remaining 75 acres of our land!
God told Randy and I to move out here almost 7 years ago. We have been in 2 different court battles over our land since then.
Talk about a major cause of stress.
God has helped us to grow through it and this last time we just said"what happens ,happens, I will not continue to loose my joy over this!"
I just heard the news that we will close on it before Dec. 1. I felt like a huge weight was just lifted off of me.
I kept telling Randy that this land must have gold buried in it somewhere for it to be such a huge deal to so many people that we NOT buy it.
I am excited because I feel like I can move on now. I don't have some weight from the past holding me down. The future is always uncertain (things never turn out how we think they should), but I feel like I can put both feet forward now and find out how this dream we have been dreaming for so long is going to turn out.

They will grow up to be Big People

We watched a video last night that ripped my heart open. I fought to control my emotions, but I really wanted to bolt out of the room and sob.
The vidoe was nothing more than a black screen with dialogue scrolling on the screen. Intermittingly a child's voice would read the script. It was POWERFUL!
It was all from a child's point of view on being in the system, foster care or adoptive home.
How they feel powerless, violated, ashamed. And how the longer it goes on the more rage they hold in, waiting until they can get some power or say in their life.
It made you really think about how a child would feel.
At the end a sweet, little girl voice said"Don't forget, someday we will be big people, too."
That hit me hard. How are we preparing our kids? Even our own kids.
Are we giving them attention, affection, love, discipline?
Or do we ignore them or treat them as a nuisance? Do we treat them as a bother and stay so busy we can't spend any time with them? Are we teaching them kindness, compassion, sharing, forgiveness?
What about the kids being passed from home to home to home? What life lessons are they learning? Should we be surprised at their hard hearts?


Are we equipping them to be the Big People?
Are we going to get a sad surprise?

Some people are just evil

I have always known that sin is in our world. I just try to push it out of my mind most of the time. Last night Randy and I attended our first foster parenting/ adoption class. I was sick to my stomach after one class. I just couldn't fathom how evil people are. How are they capable of doing such horrendous things to children? I don't know if I will be able to handle the next 6 weeks.
Randy came away excited because it renewed his thoughts of helping give just one kid love, structure, safety, family. I came away terrified that I will not be able to handle what these kids have been through.
Growing up I was never abused in any way. Now I realize what an absolute miracle that was. I don't know why God protected me and kept me from it, but He did. Now my heart breaks for those who have been abused and I can't understand why adults do such things to kids. My mind can't comprehend it.
I'm scared I am so naive that I won't be able to function in this process.
I know God brought Randy and I together from such diverse backgrounds for a reason, but I feel like Mrs. Cleaver transplanted into an episode of CSI. (Not that I wear pearls with my best dress when I clean my house!)
The closer we get the more inadequate I feel.

Surprise! A new business venture

God does work in amazing ways.
I have been praying for months about bringing some extra cash into our family. The traditional way of getting a 9-5 job (or equivalent) was out because I am dedicated to giving my kids the best education possible. I just can't do that while working away from home.
So I have been praying and thinking up things I can do from home. i don't have many talents, so I was coming up with a big, fat zero!
Then out of the blue it happened.
Randy sells honey at his work. Then we started making honey-cinnamon & plain honey butter(made with REAL butter). Some people wanted to test before they bought, so I made some yeast bread. Well, they all wanted to buy the bread! I have been making about 8 loaves a week and Randy is just selling it at work. Then someone said if I made a basket with a variety of breads and the butters they would buy it for Christmas. So now I am trying different breads for a Christmas basket.
It is often the simple things, right in front of our face that God is trying to say"Just open your eyes, it's right there" He probably wants to add a big DUMMY to the end of that:)
It is just amazing. I love to cook, but I really enjoy making breads. They are my favorite. I get to do it at home and I have made it a sort of cooking class and teach the kids while I do it. They help and learn to cook in the process. Who woulda thunk it!