My Boys

I am really proud of my boys. I have my days when I want to wring their necks, but for the most part they are pretty good kids. Lately I have been second guessing my parenting skills. Randy says if I don't have something to worry about, I will worry about not worrying- so I guess this was my worry of the week. I just want them to grow to be Godly young men and be able to make a difference in this world. Sunday I was blessed and was told what great kids they were by a few people. They won't know how I appreciated that. Eli & Ethan received $1 a piece for saying a Bible verse correctly after Sunday night service. After we got home Ethan came up to me and handed me his dollar, I looked at him and asked him what it was for. He said" you are a great cooker and make me awesome food and I want you to have my dollar". That melted my heart. Then Elijah came in the room and said "I want to buy Dad a tool with my dollar. He works really hard for us to have stuff." I just wanted to cry.
I know that they are onery, little punks sometimes, but for the most part they are awesome boys with hearts of gold!

Do you ever need a reminder?

Today is a reminder day.
I needed to look back at where we came from to remember where we are going.This has been a long road, a road that seems never ending.
We started our house on 9-1-01 with $900 in our pockets. I don't think one aspect turned out the way we planned.
We are still trusting because, once again we are in a position of needing more money to finish.
I hope though that this can be a source of encouragement for someone because God always met our needs, He always gave us what we needed, when we needed. looking at these pictures I remember the emotions I had. I probably had a hateful, depressed look on my face for about 2 years straight!Looking everyday at the big muddy hole that was supposed to be my house. There were days I just couldn't believe it would ever happen. Our house was in the" muddy hole" stage for over a year. A few people asked if we were just going to make a big fishing pond. I can laugh about it now, but then I probably wanted to punch them. It took us about 6 months to get from the concrete slab stage to framing it in. Talk about a faith tester!" Will we ever get this done?" came out of my mouth more than once. We got so much rain after it was framed in we actually took a shop vac to suck the water off the second floor. I poured gallon after gallon of water over the side of the house praying God would protect the floor and it wouldn't be ruined.
Every time I felt like giving up something miraculous happened and God made it o.k. Sometimes all it took was God giving me the strength to keep at it for just one more day. Today is the 2 year anniversary of when we moved in. The difference in our house in 2 years is amazing. We had no flooring other than the concrete slab, no kitchen cabinets ( I washed the dishes in the bathroom sink) The upstairs had drywall up and that was it. Everyday and every night we worked on this house. Finally we are beginning to see the finish line(as far as the building of the house is concerned)
So all this is a reminder of where we were and were we are going. Last week I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders, this week is starting out the same. We are still waiting for money to finish the upstairs, but in the meantime we will go ahead and have our homestudy on Thursday. We have room for 2 kids downstairs. I guess that will do for now. Then I had a new thing to worry about. We don't have a car big enough for more than 2 more kids anyway. Maybe it's not that I should worry, but rest in the fact that God provides everything when and exactly how it is needed!
We have gotten more done to the house since these pictures where taken (yes, we do have a kitchen sink!) My Dad always tells me "Rome wasn't built in a day!" So when I get discouraged and feel I am not getting any closer to where God wants me I try to remember what things were like just a few years ago. The adventure was never easy, but God always kept us on the right path, He protected us, encouraged us and I think we are better people for traveling through it.

Tootsie Rolls in the Dryer

Why would tootsie rolls be in my dryer? Good question with a simple answer. I have 2 boys. Enough said.
I was folding clothes yesterday and kept smelling chocolate. I looked and stuck inside my dryer was pieces of melted tootsie roll.
I have found the most amazing and odd things in my washer and dryer. Randy asked why I don't check pockets better. Bad question to ask while I am trying to scrub tootsie roll out of my dryer.

2005 in Review

I decided to look back at 2005 and make a list of all the things that were accomplished that brought Randy and I closer to our goal.
Our goal being buy the farm, build a house big enough we can adopt a lot of kids, develop friendships that are not superficial and be a support and source of encouragement to our friends to follow their dreams. I know God has more than that, but that is all I know of for sure from Him for now
So by looking at 2005 in those terms it was a fantastic success!
*We were able to get to know a few people better. We listened to their dreams and were so encouraged to hear what other people wanted to do for God. And we have had soooo much fun having people over and just spending time with wonderful people.
**We saw God restore a marriage and use that couple to minister to others with broken hearts and marriages. AWESOME!
***Randy coached the boys soccer teams and we met so many wonderful people. Randy had a blast doing it, also! ( That really isn't part of our long term goals. Just wanted to brag again about my hubby and what a great father he is!)
****Randy and I have almost completed all of our classes and paperwork to be foster parents and to adopt. This is a huge one!
*****After MANY trials, we were finally able to buy the remainder of the farm. That was such a huge relief. I can't say enough how much stress that relieved out of my life.
******We were able to help another family out. Spiritually, financially and keep them from being homeless. I get excited when thinking about this one because isn't this what it is all about. We have something, someone else needs it and so we give it up for them. To think God used us in this way is a tremendous thing.
This was just a quick recap of 2005. I keep all of my calendars so I can go back and see what we did and where we were at differents times in our life. Looking back through this calendar excited me and I am looking forward to another successful year in God.
It is easy to forget the bad things when you see how many good things happened.
I managed to stay out of the hospital this year too. Now that is something to shout about!
Here is to an Awesome 2006. God's gonna do even more this year, cause my faith is getting so much bigger. I am expecting bigger and better things.

New Zoo Revue

Does anyone remember The New Zoo Revue?
Henrietta Hippo, Freddy Frog, Charlie the owl.
I loved this show when I was a kid!

My Husband

I need to brag on my hubby tonight.
He is off working a long night for his family. We needed some extra money so he volunteered for overtime at a job he really doesn't like. Usually when we are short on money it is because I spent too much on the kids or Randy bought too many toys at Best Buy or we just weren't frugal enough. This time it is different.
We made a commitment to help someone out financially. We made the commitment when we had the extra money. Now it is hurting the pocketbook a little and so Randy is being true to his word and going the extra mile to provide for his family and help someone else out. I love him for that.
He provides so I can stay at home and home-school our boys and be a full-time Mom. I love staying at home and he sacrifices so I can do that. If I worked, he could get a job he enjoyed.
He will not do that. He would rather work a job that he is unhappy at so he can provide enough for me to stay home. I love him for that.
I am proud to be his wife.
He works so hard. When I would want to give up when we worked on the house, he kept going.
He never gave up working on our house. When he was tired or discouraged, he just kept going.
He did not want to let his family down. He built us a beautiful, warm house that we can enjoy.
I am one lucky lady.

My perception = My Deception

The sideways glance, the laughter, the well-dressed person, the apparent snub, all of these things can be perceived a certain way.
I learned a valuable lessen about perception.
I have always been paranoid. I assume the worst. Someone is not talking to me because they are mad. I hurt their feelings. If they are mad at me then I am not going to talk to them. All of these dialogues have went through my head multiple times before.
I make an assumption and then take it as fact.
God changed all of that.
I started a friendship with someone I thought had a lot of friends and didn't need one more. Someone I thought was confident and their life was close to perfect.
I found out that that they appeared to have friends, but everyone kept it on a superficial level. Everyone else thought they had plenty of friends, too and that left this person out in the cold.
Never assume anything.
How often did I use to assume something, take it for a fact, then act accordingly.
Now I try to spend time with someone. Ask them about their life. Find out their hopes and dreams. It has suprised me how spending quality time with people has changed me so much.
And if I think someone is upset with me, I just simply ask "Did I do something to hurt you?"
It has surprised me to get the answer to that question, too. Sometimes it had nothing to do with me at all. I was the one snubbing them because, yet again, I assumed something.
It is amazing how not assuming anything and having a dialogue with people has changed my heart.
I have new friends I would never had before.

Back to Work

The holiday season is officially over for the Kemerly's.
Randy is back to work today and we will try to get back to schoolwork for the kids.
I miss Randy when he is not home. I get spoiled having him here all day. The more time we spend together, the more time we want to spend together.
For me one of the only good things about the holidays is Randy being home all day for a week or so.
The holidays wear me out. I think it is mostly because of the traveling. We go North, South, East and west to visit family.
Usually I love Christmas. I listen to Christmas carols all year round. I love decorating the house and making cookies with the boys. I don't know what my problem was this year. I was a big BAH HUMBUG!
It never even felt like Christmas and I was so glad to put away the decorations.
Maybe that is what turning 30 does to me. Turns me into more of a grouch than usual.
But it is a new year and I am in need af a new attitude, so it is perfect timing.
I will have to look back through my calendar to make a post about 2005. I can't remember what happened or what I did all year.
I have lost my memory- something else I can blame on my milestone birthday!

Weird-O

I have concluded I am just plain weird.
I just found Christmas lists from every year that Randy and I have been married.
10 years of every item I have bought anyone for Christmas, how much I spent every year and who I received Christmas cards from and who I sent them out to.
The thing is I thought that is was weird that I kept it and then I thought"well you never know if I might need that" so I put it back in the file folder and put in the christmas card box.

Vacation

We are home again from beautiful Gatlinburg,TN.
I am so thankful we were able to go away for awhile. We needed it more than I think we realized.
I am thankful for my awesome family. My parents decided last year to make memories with us instead of buying Christmas gifts.
So this was our second annual Rainey-Kemerly-Goodman-Fletcher getaway.
My parents rent a cabin for a week and my family, my brothers family, my Mamaw and my Aunt&Uncle go for the week.
The most amazing thing is we all get along and really enjoy each others company.
That is probably a miracle in itself!
The 4 grandkids have a blast. They get to sleep in a room by themselves. They played Indians in the woods, went on hikes and the best was Ober Gatlinburg.
My brother,sister-in-law, Randy & I took the kids up in the tram and then on the ski lift to the Alpine Slides. we had so much fun racing each other down. we would pick different people to race and see who could win. We all acted like big kids. It was AWESOME!
I am scared of heights so Randy thought I should ride the ski lift with Elijah since he was older. Big mistake. This kid is fearless. He was swinging around, getting it to bounce and wanting to jump out of it. I had to close my eyes most of the time. I love roller coasters, but going slowly up the side of the mountain in a tiny metal seat, where you are very aware of how high you are off the ground, not fun!
Ethan and Lauren are the youngest and they kept saying they wanted to ride the "Charlie". It took us forever to realize it was the trolley. So much for adults enunciating when they talk.
I also realized that I talk like my family. Do you know what "Yunt to" means?
Stay tuned to the next installment of Vacation to find out.........
Same Bat time, same Bat channel:)

Good News! Good News!

To most people this would not seem like something to be excited about, but I am ecstatic!
We can FINALLY buy the remaining 75 acres of our land!
God told Randy and I to move out here almost 7 years ago. We have been in 2 different court battles over our land since then.
Talk about a major cause of stress.
God has helped us to grow through it and this last time we just said"what happens ,happens, I will not continue to loose my joy over this!"
I just heard the news that we will close on it before Dec. 1. I felt like a huge weight was just lifted off of me.
I kept telling Randy that this land must have gold buried in it somewhere for it to be such a huge deal to so many people that we NOT buy it.
I am excited because I feel like I can move on now. I don't have some weight from the past holding me down. The future is always uncertain (things never turn out how we think they should), but I feel like I can put both feet forward now and find out how this dream we have been dreaming for so long is going to turn out.

They will grow up to be Big People

We watched a video last night that ripped my heart open. I fought to control my emotions, but I really wanted to bolt out of the room and sob.
The vidoe was nothing more than a black screen with dialogue scrolling on the screen. Intermittingly a child's voice would read the script. It was POWERFUL!
It was all from a child's point of view on being in the system, foster care or adoptive home.
How they feel powerless, violated, ashamed. And how the longer it goes on the more rage they hold in, waiting until they can get some power or say in their life.
It made you really think about how a child would feel.
At the end a sweet, little girl voice said"Don't forget, someday we will be big people, too."
That hit me hard. How are we preparing our kids? Even our own kids.
Are we giving them attention, affection, love, discipline?
Or do we ignore them or treat them as a nuisance? Do we treat them as a bother and stay so busy we can't spend any time with them? Are we teaching them kindness, compassion, sharing, forgiveness?
What about the kids being passed from home to home to home? What life lessons are they learning? Should we be surprised at their hard hearts?


Are we equipping them to be the Big People?
Are we going to get a sad surprise?

Some people are just evil

I have always known that sin is in our world. I just try to push it out of my mind most of the time. Last night Randy and I attended our first foster parenting/ adoption class. I was sick to my stomach after one class. I just couldn't fathom how evil people are. How are they capable of doing such horrendous things to children? I don't know if I will be able to handle the next 6 weeks.
Randy came away excited because it renewed his thoughts of helping give just one kid love, structure, safety, family. I came away terrified that I will not be able to handle what these kids have been through.
Growing up I was never abused in any way. Now I realize what an absolute miracle that was. I don't know why God protected me and kept me from it, but He did. Now my heart breaks for those who have been abused and I can't understand why adults do such things to kids. My mind can't comprehend it.
I'm scared I am so naive that I won't be able to function in this process.
I know God brought Randy and I together from such diverse backgrounds for a reason, but I feel like Mrs. Cleaver transplanted into an episode of CSI. (Not that I wear pearls with my best dress when I clean my house!)
The closer we get the more inadequate I feel.

Surprise! A new business venture

God does work in amazing ways.
I have been praying for months about bringing some extra cash into our family. The traditional way of getting a 9-5 job (or equivalent) was out because I am dedicated to giving my kids the best education possible. I just can't do that while working away from home.
So I have been praying and thinking up things I can do from home. i don't have many talents, so I was coming up with a big, fat zero!
Then out of the blue it happened.
Randy sells honey at his work. Then we started making honey-cinnamon & plain honey butter(made with REAL butter). Some people wanted to test before they bought, so I made some yeast bread. Well, they all wanted to buy the bread! I have been making about 8 loaves a week and Randy is just selling it at work. Then someone said if I made a basket with a variety of breads and the butters they would buy it for Christmas. So now I am trying different breads for a Christmas basket.
It is often the simple things, right in front of our face that God is trying to say"Just open your eyes, it's right there" He probably wants to add a big DUMMY to the end of that:)
It is just amazing. I love to cook, but I really enjoy making breads. They are my favorite. I get to do it at home and I have made it a sort of cooking class and teach the kids while I do it. They help and learn to cook in the process. Who woulda thunk it!

Michigan, Here we come!

My brother and I are setting out tomorrow morning for my cousins funeral in Michigan.
Because of work schedules and such, My sister-in-law and Randy can't go.
So for 8 hours there, stay an hour or so, 8 hours back, it is me and my brother. I don't think since we both lived at home have we spent 20 consecutive hours together, alone. This will be interesting.
We don't have a lot in common, or least we don't know that we do. Maybe this will be a good trip for us.
If you think of it pray for my family. Most of my Dad's side of the family will be making long trips this weekend. Most of them live in southern Indiana, so it will be a long trip. Watch out on the roads, a bunch of aggressive Rainey's are headed North for the weekend!
Randy and the boys will be on their own until the wee hours Friday. (I hope I make it home before Randy leaves for work, I never that of that until now!)
Randy makes a good bluff about not being able to cook or do housework. He is very skilled in that area, I think I have spoiled him a little bit. I enjoy spoiling him so it is o.k.
So a quick trip to Michigan is on the agenda. It's gonna be interesting!

Flagging Traffic

The worst job I have ever had was/is flagging traffic. Whenever my Dad calls and says "wear your orange" I feel like I am going to puke!
To explain for any one who doesn't know and wants some insight into my life.
My Dad and brother started a road construction company a few years ago. Usually it is the 3 of us putting in box culverts or other misc. work for the State of Indiana. It works out great because I can be a full-time Mom for about 10 months and work a couple of months during the summer, make decent money to pay off bills and by the time the job is over I am ready to stay at home again. I am more appreciated at home and I appreciate being at home. A win, win situation. ......... Until I had to flag traffic.

The first couple of times weren't too bad. Then I had a bad experience a couple of years ago. A man was driving and dropped his cigerette(sp?) in his lap. By the time he looked up it was almost too late. He slammed on his brakes and swerved around me. I KNOW for a fact that God spared me because there was no way I should have not been hit. The skid marks alone showed I should have been hit, but God saved me.
I said for get it, I will NOT do that again. My family doesn't listen very well. Last summer they made me flag again. This time a semi apparently thought that I was just kidding with the big red stop sign and decided that he didn't have to stop. This time I dove into the ditch to keep from getting hit!
Then I said to my Dad "I mean business! I will NOT flag again!!!!'
Guess what I did today? I wore my orange and held that stupid sign. They thought it was funny, but I thought i was going to have a panic attack. I only had to do it for a short period of time, but I said "This is my LAST TIME!"
They never listen to me anyway, I wonder why I bother?
They should let me drive the back hoe...... I've gotten better with practice!

A Home Schooling Success

yeah! It is time for school again.
We are home-schooling for the second year and we are slowly trying to get motivated for the year to start.
i just had one of those great moments where I thought "maybe they are ACTUALLY learning something!!!!"

Ethan was asking Elijah questions about the freezing and boiling points of water. Elijah remembered what he had learned from last year and was telling Ethan all about it. It was an exciting moment to realize my kids have retained something from last year.
I have had so many positives from being with my kids. Teaching Ethan to read, Helping Elijah recapture his love of reading, boosting Elijah's self-esteem, discovering Ethan's love of cooking, the list goes on and on. I'm thankful God helped me to go against the grain and not conform just because it was what was best for everyone else. I'm glad God gave me the courage to see what wasn't working for my kids and stand up for them and try a new thing to find out what worked.
I pray I can equip them enough to be a positive influence in society and not be afraid to go against the grain and always be quick to do what is right and obedient to God.
I just pray I can lead them by example and not just by words.

A Minor Irritation

It's always the little things. I am currently trying to prove to a lab that did lab work for Randy that I paid them.
They have my money and now I have to spend my time proving to them that they have my money.
I had to do it last year with the hospital, too.
It's irritating, but I guess it is better than paying them all over again.

Have companies gotten so big and out of touch with their customers/patients that they can't even keep track of who has paid their account and who hasn't?

The Big 3-0

I just turned 30. I thought I would be indifferent about it. No big deal. I have been very surprised about the amount of thought I have put into where my life is and where my life was as an 17 year old and where my life is headed.
I realized a few things about getting older. I have actually learned from my mistakes. My attitudes have changed. I am a stronger person.
When I was 17, just graduated from high school. my life was planned. i would go to college and become some type of professional. I would make a life for myself and in no way would any man tell me what to do. I was my own person I was going to do what I wanted to do.
Then I met Randy and EVERYTHING changed! I fell in love and married way sooner than I had planned. We had a baby and we decided that I would stay home. no career for me. Now the 17 year old me would think I was the stupidest person ever. I thank God He softened my heart because staying home with my boys is one of the most important decisions God helped me make in my life. It is one of the hardest ones to stick with for financial reasons and it is the one decision that has already had the most tangible benefits. Never, ever, ever would I have envisioned myself as a stay-at-home mom and loving it so much!
I have seen how my walk with God has changed so much. I think it is for the better. As a new Christian I was intimidated by authority, mature Christians, anyone with power or more knowledge than me. Now I don't have as much knowledge as I should for as long as I have been a christian, but I know God loves me now! That is a revelation that took 12 years of battling with myself on why God shouldn't love me. It has been a long time coming to say God loves me and really know it. i want to walk my own walk now. I am willing to take responsibilty for my own mistakes. I want a one-on-one intimacy with God that is not influenced by the opinions of friends or family or the church. I am realizing how fallible people are. We are full of opinion, but lacking letting God have the full control and admitting we don't know it all. I believe God for all things, but I am ready to stand up for myself and tell people that I am just not interested about opinions anymore. When I stand before God I can't blame my church or friends for my mistakes. I must start taking FULL accountabilty for my actions now. I don't want to play the blame game anymore. I want to live my own life (making decisions with Randy of course) without the commentary of everyone who thinks they know how to live my life better than me.
There is freedom and the peace of God where I am at because where I was strangled by what my parents or friends or sometimes strangers thought, now I care what a select few think, but I will not let that keep me from following after God. Even when it seems what He is saying is too crazy to believe i don't want to miss God because someone called me stupid. I have learned the more I hear it the easy it becomes.
I really don't mind getting older, but now i realize I am not as fun loving as I used to be. I was a crazy cut-up. We would practical joke people in the middle of the night. Even when Elijah was a baby we would put him in his baby seat and I would carry him sneaking through the yard trying to scare Randy's cousin. It sounds kind of stupid, but we had so much fun! I feel like I have become to much of a Mom in the sense of I say things like, "you better quit or you will put your eye out" Geez that is what makes me feel old! If there is any one thing thatI feel was better when I was younger it is the fact that I was so much more fun. I would like to just recapture that part of myself because I liked myself so much better.
So much for the walk down memory lane. Getting older is enevitable so I had better make the best of it!

blessings part 2

I am struggling with some things right now, so I thought it was time to visit my list of blessings.

There is a scripture about to whom much is given much is expected and I believe I have been given much so a lot is expected out of me.

I was given a loving home.
I was given health.
I was given a brain to think for myself.
I was given the ability to zip my lips.
I was given the most wonderful children.
I was given the ability to love.
I was given the ability to forgive.
I was given a husband that treats me better than I ever deserve.
I was given a chance to worship God with every breathe I take.
I was given a home that I don't deserve
I was given a peaceful childhood without any abuse.
I was given parents who loved me enough to discipline me and even tell me "NO".
I was given the opportunity to stay at home with my children.
I was given the ability to cherish every moment with my children and delight in being their Mom.

i haven't even scratched the surface of all the things God has given me, but I feel better just thinking on His good things1