They will grow up to be Big People

We watched a video last night that ripped my heart open. I fought to control my emotions, but I really wanted to bolt out of the room and sob.
The vidoe was nothing more than a black screen with dialogue scrolling on the screen. Intermittingly a child's voice would read the script. It was POWERFUL!
It was all from a child's point of view on being in the system, foster care or adoptive home.
How they feel powerless, violated, ashamed. And how the longer it goes on the more rage they hold in, waiting until they can get some power or say in their life.
It made you really think about how a child would feel.
At the end a sweet, little girl voice said"Don't forget, someday we will be big people, too."
That hit me hard. How are we preparing our kids? Even our own kids.
Are we giving them attention, affection, love, discipline?
Or do we ignore them or treat them as a nuisance? Do we treat them as a bother and stay so busy we can't spend any time with them? Are we teaching them kindness, compassion, sharing, forgiveness?
What about the kids being passed from home to home to home? What life lessons are they learning? Should we be surprised at their hard hearts?


Are we equipping them to be the Big People?
Are we going to get a sad surprise?

Some people are just evil

I have always known that sin is in our world. I just try to push it out of my mind most of the time. Last night Randy and I attended our first foster parenting/ adoption class. I was sick to my stomach after one class. I just couldn't fathom how evil people are. How are they capable of doing such horrendous things to children? I don't know if I will be able to handle the next 6 weeks.
Randy came away excited because it renewed his thoughts of helping give just one kid love, structure, safety, family. I came away terrified that I will not be able to handle what these kids have been through.
Growing up I was never abused in any way. Now I realize what an absolute miracle that was. I don't know why God protected me and kept me from it, but He did. Now my heart breaks for those who have been abused and I can't understand why adults do such things to kids. My mind can't comprehend it.
I'm scared I am so naive that I won't be able to function in this process.
I know God brought Randy and I together from such diverse backgrounds for a reason, but I feel like Mrs. Cleaver transplanted into an episode of CSI. (Not that I wear pearls with my best dress when I clean my house!)
The closer we get the more inadequate I feel.